Okay let me just spurt it .. I am very upset today .Actually , I have no words to describe my apprehension and let me tell you why. Let’s begin this sob story…
Somebody today at one of the many hundreds of face book groups I have joined, posted her melancholy. Her young child who just started primary at a very expensive private school got bashed at school by the class teacher for reasons so trivial like asking for frequent toilet breaks and the child’s hair got pulled when the teacher saw a wet floor and intelligently ” assumed ” that it was a mishap done by that innocent child…. Can anyone believe this ??? Is this really happening ?? Can the teachers be that cruel ???
Things just don’t end there… the desperate mother looking for support and advice, also described how difficult it is to communicate with the teacher apart from Parent Teacher Conferences which is actually invitation sent by school. The poor mother worries about the cost of school fee lost incase they withdraw the pupil and high probability of the child not getting admission for current term in any other reputed school.
This happened in an expensive school in Dubai …………………………………………..
The second event was faced by another mom, whose 3 year old just started off nursery and has started refusing to go in the morning . The little child resists in whichever way he deems to detach from mommy. Her post portrayed as if parents have done their best but still failing to send of their kid to school without fuss. The teachers say , like always, the child was fine after you left ; stopped crying and started playing with other kids….
Now I know some of us may shun it by considering it a benign separation anxiety issue and there are legitimate ways to deal with it. But what if we are missing something?
This phrase ” don’t worry , your child was fine after you left; stopped crying and started playing with other kids” somehow feels austocious … My reasons are as under:
a) If the kid really enjoys school’s /nursery’s environment why he is not happy to go there ?
b) Even if the parent accepts that , they are committing some mistake in handling the anxiety at home, why the highly competent staff are unable to alleviate it even for a mere 1%??
I am not here going to bullet point the do’s and don’ts in these situations as anyone can easily find it on the internet . I told the lady to follow her motherly instincts . And that moms are correct 99.99% of the times in their gut instincts. I knew I hit the right cords, still her adamancy to recognition didn’t let her to use her analytics . She was still finding excuses to believe it was nothing else but just a phase.
So when I sat down today to write my blog, my mind was speculating my pictures. I needed a picture that could easily comprehend a mother and a child’s connection. Something that I can pin point and say , ” here you go folks ! I described it all ” . NO I CANNOT ! and no one can . I have no shame to openly accept that there is no such word or expression or phrase ever written to describe maternal love as it can only be felt . Not captured ; not written ; not recorded in any way. Then WHY ? Why we ignore it ? Why this powerful connection bows in front of system and circumstances? We know the system fails and circumstances can change . They are all modifiable . But our connection to our kids is real , is solid , it’s unmodifiable.
My mind and my heart has been contemplating at many levels for these two cases. They not only justifies a failing modern educational system but also unveils socio-cultural complexities. In some cultures, it is OKAY to hit a child in order to maintain ”discipline”. Parents growing up in such cultures worry not about the physical abuse and emotional trauma of their children but for everything else and most importantly child not going to school. Now , here , I would also like to point out this misconception that bricks and mortar schools are the only place for children to get education and socialize. I may look deeply into it in my next post. I mean I am totally speechless at this perception. Clearly, shows how much humans are bounded by chains of tradition and peer pressure.
I would leave this blog with a question for my readers…
Are your chains of tradition and peer pressure are stronger than the love for your child?your own flesh and blood ????